I was listening to a message by Eric Simmons from New Attitude 06' the other day. He was talking about thinking globally but acting locally. I have seen a huge lack of missional focus in my life lately. There has been little desire to share the gospel with a dying world. I am a missionary. When you really think about it, I have been sent to be a missionary to San Diego. More specifically to Escondido and Rancho Bernardo. How do I reach the lost that God has called me to reach? God has been showing me that it takes more than just being an intern and loving Him. I actually have to do the hard work. It takes faith. Most of the time God is not going to drop sinners right in front of us who are saying "what must I do to be saved?" Generally we need to open the door. It is scary. But if we thought we were doing it on our own it would be scarier. For me, the idea that it is ultimately the Holy Spirit who is working through me to accomplish what he wills makes it a little bit easier. I am not saving anyone. I am doing my part.
The only time I have ever clearly communicated the gospel to someone was on the way back from NA. My brother and I had to get a cab and our taxi driver happened to be quite curious about what this conference we had just finished attending was for. We explained it to him. We told him about Jesus. He was a muslim. He knew about Jesus already. He thought that Jesus was a pretty rad dude. But he also was caught up in a web of legalism. To him, religion was all about works. If he did this, he attained this; We explained that because of Christs death we are now free to cease from trying and achieve moral "goodness". It cannot be attained. As we told him these things, he listened intently, but by the end of our taxi ride he still just thought we were good guys who were tight with Jesus.
I left that taxi feeling so empowered. I did not save him. I heard no profession of faith, but I told him the old old story. He heard truth. The rest was up to God. It was so freeing to know that I did my part. God calls us to share our faith, to lift up the lost to him in prayer, but the saving is up to him. So what are we doing about it? How are we reaching our community?

"Therefore, preparing your minds for action, and being sober-minded, set your hope fully on the grace that will be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ. 14 As obedient children, do not be conformed to the passions of your former ignorance, 15 but as he who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, 16 since it is written, “You shall be holy, for I am holy.” 17 And if you call on him as Father who judges impartially according to each one's deeds, conduct yourselves with fear throughout the time of your exile, 18 knowing that you were ransomed from the futile ways inherited from your forefathers, not with perishable things such as silver or gold, 19 but with the precious blood of Christ, like that of a lamb without blemish or spot. 20 He was foreknown before the foundation of the world but was made manifest in the last times for your sake, 21 who through him are believers in God, who raised him from the dead and gave him glory, so that your faith and hope are in God." 1 Peter 1:13-21

I am leading worship this week. Something that I have done minimally in the last few months. It almost feels like it is my first time. We'll see how it goes. God has been so good in directing my attention to Him over the past few days. He has been helping me to grow, slowly but surely. Here is a small example:
I went to bed too late on monday and then I slept in tuesday morning because of it. When I rolled over and saw what time it was the first response that came out of my mouth not a pleasant one. I then struggled through my morning routine. I left almost 40 minutes later than I usually do. When I got near the mall on via Rancho it traffic was dead stopped. In that moment, I had a choice to make, I could listen to music or I could pray... I don't want to say that it was my good judgement that prompted me to choose the latter... it was definitely the Holy Spirit. I prayed the whole way to work. It took me just over an hour to drive 5 miles. When I finally pulled into "my" spot, I was able to thank God for his providence. I looked at how he "allowed" me to sleep in, which led to me being stuck in traffic, which led to me being able to set aside some specific time of prayer. He knew I needed to pray. He knew I hadn't been thinking much about Him or anything all weekend and he sovereignly ordained to make those events take place so that I would see the importance of sleep, the necessity of prayer, and hand of providence. He knew that when I saw all of those things I would be amazed and write a blog post about it thus magnifying His GREAT name.
God is so good. I can't stop saying those four words. His mercies are new every morning. That verse is TRUTH! We never wake to old mercy. We never have to scrounge about in the cookie jar of mercy to find a new one. Every morning the jar is completely full with the most delicious fresh treats of His kindness. We are so richly blessed.
So when it comes to the worship leading thing. I am really not concerned. He has already prepared the batch of cookies. The jar is full. Sunday morning as I lead His people, He WILL be glorified because he has already set it in motion so that the end result of that time of worship would bring Him the most glory...

wow.

“Here in the cross is where every enemy of joy is overcome: divine wrath, as he becomes a curse for us; real guilt, as he becomes forgiveness for us; lawbreaking, as he becomes righteousness for us; estrangement from God, as he becomes reconciliation for us; slavery to Satan, as he becomes redemption for us; bondage to sin, as he becomes liberation for us; pangs of conscience, as he becomes cleansing for us; death, as he becomes the resurrection for us; hell, as he becomes eternal life for us.”-CHS

trying to sort out how to be helpful to friends that are going through tough times right now. in a lot of ways, i'm glad that i haven't really had to deal with death. but i am also aware that it is a part of life on this earth. today at lunch i went down to the little courtyard area at our office and just spent some time in God's word. he directed me to psalm 55:22 "Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved." i had nothing. i have been trying to somehow be of help to these friends but have not really had much to say. God showed me that i was trying to bear the burden myself. i just saw this image of my savior standing with His hand outstreched waiting for me to put my fears and anxieties and sorrow in His hand. He will sustain those who give Him their burdens. i have also been struggling with unbelief. how come so many people all over america can be praying for this one thing and yet it appears that our prayers are not going to be answered? i was questioning God. i was concerned if maybe he might have screwed up on His perfect plan for ian's life.
that was stupid. i don't know about anyone else, but i rarely think biblically in the wake of a serious tradgedy. i know that God is sovereign. i know that His will is perfect and that though we often don't think so, everything he does is for our good and His great glory.
so i crawl back to the cross again. seeing so much sin in my heart, and struggling to figure out why things happen the way they do. holding them out to Jesus and knowing that he bore them away on Calvary's tree, and that my debt has been fully cancelled. our God is in control. even when our world tells us he is not.

please pray for ian murphy (drowning melville videos), he has severe head trauma and the doctors are giving him hours to live. pray for a miracle. that is all we can do.

jOSH: